Biografie van D'oh
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DE FEITEN OVER CHUCK NORRIS!
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
-They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
-A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
-Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
-Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
-Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
-Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
-Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
-Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
-When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
-When Chuck Norris works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it’s been raped.
-The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris’ age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
-The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris and Friends”
-Chuck Norris invented the internet… just so he had a place to store his porn.
-Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
-When God said, “let there be light”, Chuck Norris said, “say ‘please’.”
-Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
